Some more definitions from the irrepressible S.J:
A farm: A farm is an irregular patch of nettles bounded by short-term notes, containing a fool and his wife who don’t know enough to stay in the city.
Screenwriting: I gained my livelihood writing for the silver screen, an occupation which, like herding swine, makes the vocabulary pungent but contributes little to one’s prose style.
The Most of S.J. Perelman Methuen 2001