Pottering about among her old Middle English textbooks, in vacant and in pensive mood, Gert came across a favourite from the days when she was much more vacant and much less pensive.
Cethegrande is a fis,
The moste that in water is.
That thu wuldes seien get,
Gef thu it soge wan it flet,
That it were a neilond
That sete one the se sond.
There’s a rich prize for the best translation.
*The Medieval Bestiary
bestiary.ca/beasts/beast282.htm
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Gert Loveday's Fun with Books 
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves. Or something along those lines. I tossed out all my old textbooks, finally, this year. I didn’t own any nearly as interesting.
Here goes nothing:
Catheterization is a fix
Mostly for passing water
That you would soon get
Right after the fleet enema
It is a bloody nuisance
But it only takes a second.
Translated by Ethelred the Incontinent
High marks for originality and for bringing the Middle Ages right into the 21st century. A purist might question your grasp of the subjunctive, but let that pass. It’s a contender.
I had to get a bit creative there, so flexibility was called for.
As a lecturer in Latin once said to me about my Roman HIstory exam, ‘It’s waffle, but it’s high-grade waffle’.
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance then baffle them with bullshit. Etc.
I didn’t dazzle quite enough to pass Roman History Perhaps due to the fact that I hadn’t read the textbook and made it up out of my memories of Shakes’ ‘Julius Caesar’. But I’m making up for it now by listening to a great podcast series on the history of Rome.
I’m watching a Russian television miniseries. Can’t take too much culture.
“I could have had class. I could have been a contender” (Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront)
Correction: ‘I coulda bin a contender’.
By culture, I mean of the arty-farty kind.
As in the history of Rome?
Shakespeare. Ruined for me by Education. Still, I love the comedies but am tempted to throttle Hamlet.