A new business opportunity

Why has no enterprising writer taken up this suggestion made in 1925?

Sooner or later, I suppose, there will not only be text-books teaching criminal investigators, but text-books teaching criminals. It will be but a slight change from the present tone of financial ethics, and when the shrewd and vigorous business mind has broken away from the last lingering influence of dogmas invented by priests, journalism and advertisement will show the same indifference to the taboos of today as it does today to the taboos of the Middle Ages. Burglary will be explained like usury, and there will be no more disguise about cutting throats than there is about cornering markets. The bookstalls will be brightened with titles like ‘Forgery in Fifteen Lessons,’ and ‘Why Endure Married Misery?’ with a popularization of poisoning fully as scientific as the popularization of Divorce and Birth-Control.


Chesterton might have been a bit of a stodge on birth control and divorce, but this is a brave and forward-looking suggestion that raises the self-help book to a new scientific level. Publishers, feel free to approach Gert to commission a few titles in this new genre – Beginning Blackmail, Embezzlement for Dummies, Holistic Homicide, Murder for Middle Management, Family Fun with Fraud…

Image: https://pixabay.com/en/alchemy-medical-naturopathy-heal-436580/

2 thoughts on “A new business opportunity

  1. Oh Gert, I love it! I’ll take Family Fun with Fraud, Murder for Middle Management and I’d like to add a few of my own titles – Bloodless Regime Change by Elections, Peaceful War Games Without Weapons. All very enlightening don’t you think?

  2. Peaceful War Games Without Weapons would certainly not appeal to the big boys. Sorry to say, Leslie, I don’t think it would be a big seller. But maybe it could be subversively introduced into kindergartens so the tinies would have the aggro washed out of their system. Then it could be marketed as educational, and it might make a profit.

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