Someone who is either very learned or completely nuts has written to us about our food post last Sunday, pointing out that the earliest reference to lamingtons is in the “Lamingtons of Jeremiah” in the Bible. Our correspondent says he is writing a book called “MasterChef”, which argues that the Bible is a set of coded cooking instructions for an esoteric sect whose credo was “Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die”. Julienne of Norwich was a member, as was St John of the Hot Cross Bun. (Gert suspects that John Donne may have been, too: “Batter my heart, three person’d God”).
Gert was inclined to scoff at first, but the evidence is compelling when you look at it. Think of all the references to roasting, skewering, grilling and frying in Hell, and of course the Bible is full of talk about bread, wine, lamb, pork and fish, feasting and starving. Remember Jesus fed the crowd at Galilee fish and chips. Maybe the Pythons were on to something with “Blessed are the cheesemakers”.
Here are a few more from the list provided by the author of “Master Chef”:
Take up thy bread and wok
Soufflé the little children
Peas I leave with you, my peas I give you
Weeping and mashing of potatoes
Man that is born of woman is of few days and full of truffles
Oh gravy, where is thy victory?
The voice of one frying in the wilderness
The piece of cod that passeth understanding
Image: Hieronymus Bosch, Wikimedia commons