MasterChef and the Lamington


Someone who is either very learned or completely nuts has written to us about our food post last Sunday, pointing out that the earliest reference to lamingtons is in the “Lamingtons of Jeremiah” in the Bible. Our correspondent says he is writing a book called “MasterChef”, which argues that the Bible is a set of coded cooking instructions for an esoteric sect whose credo was “Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die”. Julienne of Norwich was a member, as was St John of the Hot Cross Bun. (Gert suspects that John Donne may have been, too: “Batter my heart, three person’d God”).

Gert was inclined to scoff at first, but the evidence is compelling when you look at it. Think of all the references to roasting, skewering, grilling and frying in Hell, and of course the Bible is full of talk about bread, wine, lamb, pork and fish, feasting and starving. Remember Jesus fed the crowd at Galilee fish and chips. Maybe the Pythons were on to something with “Blessed are the cheesemakers”.

Here are a few more from the list provided by the author of “Master Chef”:

Take up thy bread and wok

Soufflé the little children

Peas I leave with you, my peas I give you

Weeping and mashing of potatoes

Man that is born of woman is of few days and full of truffles

Oh gravy, where is thy victory?

The voice of one frying in the wilderness

The piece of cod that passeth understanding


Image: Hieronymus Bosch, Wikimedia commons






10 thoughts on “MasterChef and the Lamington

  1. I’m surprised you forgot to mention St Pavlova of Tarsus, the Good Fryer Tuck and that medieval alchemist of the kitchen Roger Bacon. St Crepe Suzette though is no longer recognised as canonised, though she’s still popularly regarded as the patron saint of dyspepsia and wind.

    1. You could be a member of that club yourself ,Leslie, with your interest in lemon meringue pie. If you say “Leslie: very quickly it does sound a lot like “lettuce leaf”, n’est-ce pas?

          1. Thank you, I am presently sitting down with a peach in my hands. (Dripping madly all over) Those fresh peaches are to die for.
            My real name is Caramel.

  2. But recently you were talking about surviving a terrible winter???? I thought you must have been talking about the earlier part of this year and so it would be Spring now. But that doesn’t make sense because we’re just about to go into Spring. Anyway, enjoy the luscious peaches. Maybe the best fruit there is, though a good pear runs it close.

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