Gert has been told that a fashion brand that shall be nameless has released a pair of see-through plastic jeans. Apparently you wear these over hot pants or something just big enough to be legal. But why not think outside the square and wear them over grandpa-style long johns, preferably yellowed with age and baggy in the seat? Or over a kilt? Or put your legs through the sleeves of a sweater and knot it casually round your waist (this has the added value of disguising any flab).
And is it time for Gert to release, under her own label, these fashion items?
A most extraordinary array of garments lay in front of me. They were remarkable not only in their cut and colour, but also in the materials used in their construction: trousers made from hessian, hats of lead, leggings of brass, shirts fashioned from what resembled a mixture of newspaper, lard, chalk and crushed rock, flamboyant jackets of stained glass, and most imposing of all, a large neck-ruff cut from solid granite.
(The 1001 Nights Of Iarcus Oralto)