Gert recently heard of a child called Jubilee. What on earth will her parents do if she turns out to be a sourpuss?
Being a bit of a sourpuss herself, Gert prefers names like Grief and Lamentation. Misery is quite pretty, too, or Alas.
And if you really want to double down on the modern world, how about Avarice, Greed and Expense?
Image: State Library of New South Wales collection – https://www.flickr.com/photos/statelibraryofnsw/2761305139/