Want to look your best at Xmas? You might be interested in the Cryophoresis CooLifting beauty treatment, which the beauty editor on Gert’s newspaper described this week. She subjects herself each week to some beauty ordeal, so you’d think by now her skin and hair should be stratospherically beautiful. Clearly she hasn’t hit on the right one yet. Or perhaps one treatment counteracts the other?
This week she underwent the Cryophoresis CooLifting beauty treatment, combining a controlled, high-pressure spray of carbon dioxide at a temperature of –20 °C with hyaluronic acid and botanical serum including sorghum bi-colour stalk juice and wheat protein. The good news is that afterwards her face looked plump and her skin more even-toned.
Gert went in search of some other treatments that might appeal. How about the Thai Face Slap? This is an ancient technique known only to 10 people on earth, and two of them are in San Francisco. For only $350 a session you can get your face slapped in all kinds of imaginative and fun ways, and when you come out I bet your face will look plump and your skin even-toned. If you aren’t in San Francisco maybe you could get a friend to do it (not an enemy) for nothing, though of course it won’t be as good. How about offering it to a friend as your Xmas gift?
And for last-minute Christmas presents how about a Facewaver Exercise Mask, a Neck Wrinkle Iron, or an Eyelid trainer from the Japan Trend Shop?
Top image: Portrait of Gloria King, Wikimedia Commons
Gert Loveday's Fun with Books 
Great
For that ‘best face’ look I’d go for the ordinal form of gene-therapy, that of choosing your parents with care, subjecting wannabe mummies and daddies to intensive interviews and demanding an evidence-based portfolio of photographs and videos of them at different stages as they aged and the healthy eating and exercise regimes they followed. Fool proof.
“original” not “ordinal” #bloodypredictivetext
Is that how you did it, Chris? I’ve always wondered, enviously.
I time travelled. Obviously.
Too modest
Forget it Gert, it’s all downhill from here.
Leslie
I thought you’d go for the face-slapping, Leslie.
Oh Gert, you’re full of it today… 😉
Thanks, but I think I’ll concentrate on my inner beauty this time around.
Oh Dorothy I was thinking of buying you the Facewaver, except that they’re sold out.
Happy Christmas anyway, would love to see you.
Some more useful beauty tips, a red wine footbath and an anti-ageing facial combining wine, yoghurt, honey and green tea
https://www.theguardian.com/food/shortcuts/2018/dec/17/red-wine-footbath-anyone-how-i-turned-my-party-dregs-into-beauty-treatments
Gert 2