Yes, that’s the prize for Gert’s Xmas Pun-ch quiz. Give your guests a mental workout after the fourth helping of pudding with these brain-teasers, one for each of the twelve days of Christmas:
1. Unfortunate queen, the poster girl for acne treatment
2. Victorian novelist AT, a bit of a slapper
3. English philosopher who scurried along like falling leaves
4. French commander made up of layers of pastry and custard
5. English writer often seen in sheep’s clothing
6. Israeli politician right out of Gulliver’s Travels
7. A sporty wild cat in the forest
8. US president, a sci-fi weapon
9. American singer forbade underwear, or possibly wore iron underwear, or possibly had special underwear when she went out drinking
10. Italian dictator like a rodent
11. He trapped his musical compositions in his surname
12. A tennis player with a royal surname and a sweet first name
Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/84854407@N00/48266594647″
And Happy Christmas from the Gerts:
Gert Loveday's Fun with Books 
I know number 4! Have to work on the others — Merry Christmas — hope Santa brought everything you wanted, and some cool weather to boot. We are getting snow on Christmas Eve after none for quite a long time, and the kids arrive in a few hours. Love to you all —
Jim’s mother’s favorite song was “We Like Sheep” (maybe after Toccata and Fugue in D Minor).
Living in Wales, I can’t get the phrase “wee like sheep” out of my head whenever I hear or sing this. (Better than the alternative charge levelled at Welshmen, referring to alleged ungulate paramours …)
That’s a version I’ve never heard. Nasty things are also said about New Zealanders and sheep.
Silent Travelling Companion can answer at least eight or nine of these questions He is not prepared to answer in this public forum but can submit by separate cover He is very keen to take receipt of reindeer
The one in Anchorage gets walked every day on the Park Strip. I am sure that he is prepared for this!
I think he is ineligible for this competition due to his family connections.
That would be a shame, but understandable. Are there any reindeer in Australia, outside of zoos?
I believe there is a native species originating from a shipwrecked Nordic vessel. A reindeer that was being delivered to the South Pole escaped and mated with a wallaby.
A walladeer? A reinby? Maybe, like the sheep-roo crossbreed it’s a woolly jumper?
Not comfortable for Santa, and the presents keep falling out of the billy-cart.
At least he’d have something to jump-start his sleigh if the electrics were playing up.
Indeed. Here’s a nice joke for you Chris:
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
A wallabeer? Could be tasty, and might account for Rudolph’s red nose too. You have some good puns here to share with the kids on Christmas morning when they wake up.
What fun – think I’ve got 3 or 4 of them, at least!
Wishing you all the best for the festive season, Gerts. Plenty of reading time ahead, I hope. 🙂
Yes, three or four is my limit too. Perhaps I win a few tines rather than a whole Rudolph?!
Come on Chris and Jacqui, which ones have you got? maybe you can share the reindeer.
Okay, first names only: there’s a Bertrand, a Virginia, a Ronald, a Benito (I think), a Jonathan and … I’ll have to think about the others.
Jonathan? Otherwise good.
Oops, I meant Benjamin, Jonathan was the scribbler.
Yup.
Now Gert that reindeer is looking pretty mangy not sure I would want to win that. How’s that for an excuse?
Merry Christmas to you two ladies.
Leslie from Canada xoxo
You’re one canny lady, Leslie. Happy Christmas to you and all the bigs and littles in your family.
Thanks so much Gert and we’re sending the good wishes back to you too.
Leslie xoxo
1. Mary Queen of Spots
2. Anthony Trollope
3. Bertrand Russell
4. Napoleon
5. Virginia Woolf
6. Benjamin Netanyahu (or yahoo)
7. Cougar
8. Ronald Reagan
9. Dunno
10. Benito Mussolini
11. Franz Liszt
12. Billie Jean King
We’d very much appreciate it if the reindeer could bring the answer to #9 with it when it comes.
Answers from Rob and Jan in Yass Communicated by Sally (E D)
Apparently Britney Spears, and Miley Cyrus among others are on the list for #9, along with others. But nothing definitive from Google, and zero answers from my own knowledge of such things. Hope the reindeer can meet the challenge –