‘Well, now,’ he said, ‘what do they call you?’
‘Jackie, father,’ I said.
‘And what’s a-trouble to you, Jackie?’
‘Father,’ I said, feeling I might as well get it over while I had him in good humour, ‘I had it all arranged to kill my grandmother.’ Continue reading My kind of priest
The best job that was ever offered to me was to become a landlord in a brothel. Continue reading Tools of the writer’s trade
Following the announcement from Arts Council England that sales of literary fiction are plummeting, it is suggested that arts subsidies be deployed to help writers survive. I have another idea. They should write better books.
Continue reading Just the story, stoopid?
Tom Wolfe, author of Bonfire 0f The Vanities, died in May at the age of 88. Unfortunately, he never completed his biography of Napoleon:
Continue reading A precocious biographer
The world has been clamouring, yes clamouring, for more of the unpublished Gertrude Stein manuscript that Gert has in her possession. We’ve even had a tweet from Donald Trump demanding it. So here are its last cryptic lines:
Continue reading On foolishness, igloos and omelettes
‘Stopping to rethread the needle twice before she got to the end, she got up and stood at the ironing board to press the skirt with a warm iron ready for collection.’
Continue reading Keeping your adverbials in their proper place