The woke socialist liberal elitist left-wing paedophile Silicon Valley-loving media has tried to cover it up – but the truth is out.  Major Biden (a WSLELWPSVL dog) has been savaging patriotic Americans and has been sent off to have the nips taken out of him.

Gert would like to defend Major by pointing out even worse behaviour from non-American dogs. Vladimir Putin’s Merkel-threatening dog Konni is a good example (is Joe Biden perhaps training Major for diplomatic duties?)160112114220-merkel-putin-dog-2-exlarge-169

Nicolas Sarkosy’s chihuahua and two Labradors chewed up some of the most precious furniture in the Silver Salon of Napoleon, causing tens of thousands of euros worth of damage, and Macron’s dog weed in a gilded fireplace during a ministerial meeting. (“I wondered what that noise was,” said one of the ministers).  Former President Jaques Chirac’s poodle was so disturbed at being transplanted from the Elysée gardens to a palatial Parisian flat that he started viciously attacking his owner and had to be sent away to a farmhouse.

Let’s hope Major doesn’t suffer the fate of the bad-tempered camel the government of Mali gave Francois Hollande. He left it in the care of a family who made it into a stew.  The Mali government then gave him a “better-looking camel”.  Its fate is not recorded.

11 thoughts on “Rrrruff!

  1. Ha! On a more serious note, there have been some unfortunate incidents involving dogs over here during lockdown – partly driven by stress amongst members of the public, I suspect. One of my friends was verbally abused for letting her dog (a very mild-mannered cocker spaniel) run around off the leash on the local common recently. Some random bloke just laid into her for being “a privileged, middle-class dog-owner responsible for the death of seals”. (There had been an awful incident involving a dog and a seal in London the previous week – a freak accident, but clearly this chap was taking it all a bit too far by condemning all dogs and their owners as a result…)

    1. We have a seal that comes to the beach near here quite often and they put a guard round him at night because human beings think it’s fun to attack him — so it’s not just dogs owned by the privileged middle class!

  2. “The woke socialist liberal elitist left-wing paedophile Silicon Valley-loving media” are everywhere. It is so encouraging to see how attentive you are even in the far antipodes. We must all stay on high alert until this existential threat to our way of life has been dealt with once and for all.

    I thank you for your service.

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